The Furball

Hunting the Chea… Sheep

Come out wherever you are, I said in a low voice, trying not to scare away any of the sheep in the vicinity. I was a little flustered by all the bustle in Vomp Hills. These parts are usually very calm, with adventurers no longer taking the time to climb the hill. It’s kind of sad since you have the view at the very top is great. You can easily look at the mountain range around Konschtat Highlands—but only on a nice day of course.

I had just shined my armor, dusting off the Koenig Shield I haven’t used in a long time. I haven’t really given my Paladin the attention it deserves lately, which leaves me with the sad feel of regret. This armor, which I used to wear with such pride, has been left hanging on my mannequin for far too long, and I hope I get to use it a lot more. My gear is maybe not as good as some of the more seasoned Paladin’s, but it’ll do. There is no doubt in my mind that I could easily fend off the attacks from the lesser gods in sky. I wish they’d let me get a Sattva, a Tamas and a Rajas ring.

It had been raining all morning, so I wasn’t at all surprised that I was the only one on the hill. The sky was still covered with heavy clouds, and I feared there would be another rain soon. It was still only noon, so anything could happen at this point. I looked around, carefully scanning the monsters strolling around up here: a few goblins patrolling and a herd of sheep. For a moment I thought that a stew would be purrrfect right now, deciding to go by the tavern in Bastok to see what today’s special were later.

Rumors has it that an old, ragged ram roam in these parts. Carnero, as some of the elderly in Bastok calls him, is said to have tormented children playing in Gustaberg for years. But, this was many years ago, and few know if the stories are actually true. I for one had decided to climb these hills, in hope of learning the truth. My step-mother, Sarah, once told me that if you investigate a folk story, you’ll usually find some truth to them regardless of how silly they may sound.

A herd of seven sheep were standing some sixty feet away from me, and I decided I’d use them to lure out Carnero—if such a monster even exist. I closed my eyes, concentrated for a brief moment before casting a bright flashing light above the herd. Flash ought to do it, I told myself. Moments later, the herd started running away, frightened by the sudden flash. I chased after them, trying not to let them get away.

The herd ran toward a path leading to the very top of the hill. Purrrfect, I thought to myself, now I can corner them with ease. My armor was heavy, but with years of training I no longer have a problem running. I remember how I almost fell over the first time I put it on. I cast another round of flash to keep them going in the direction I wanted.

We were nearly at the very top when I heard a roaring sound. A towering ram was standing at the top of the path, staring right through me. I stopped for a moment, trying to examine it further. The ram was in rage, and judging by all the cuts and bruises on it’s body I just knew that it had to be old Carnero.

The ram charged at me, hitting me with it’s sturdy horns. I barely blocked the attack with my shield, narrowly escaping a “hollow death”. I took a few steps back, staring intensely at it for a few seconds. The rest of the herd was hiding in the back, patiently waiting to see the outcome of the battle.

I pointed my sword at the old ram and said: Purrr! You’re mine! The ram started scraping one of it’s hoof against the ground. Moments later it charged against me, trying to put an end to me. Again I moved away, dodging the ram’s attack. I swung my sword as hard as I could into it’s thigh, turning around in an instant and launching an aerial attack, often referred to as a Savage Attack. The ram roared in pain as it fell to the ground, incapacitated. The ram was in great pain, but it’s life dwindled in but a few seconds.

I carefully looked through it’s remains. To my surprise I found a katana sword in purrrfect shape: the fabled “Katayama Ichimonji.” I thought something was fishie about how the ram died, but to think it had a katana in it…

Darkest Hour?

I meowed frantically in dismay, as Kirin came tramping towards me. But even if I ran as quickly as I could, I just couldn’t put a distance between me and the enormous monster, claiming to be the king among gods. The air was damp, filled with memories of past battles. I looked around, desperate to find shelter from the monster chasing me. We’re coming, I could hear in the background; my friends assuring me they’d help me out of harms way. But right then and there, their words didn’t reach my mind. I was panicking, praying to Goddess Altana that she would spare me just this once.

I looked back, trying to judge the distance between me and Kirin. At this rate he’d reach me in only seconds. Turning back was a fatal mistake though, as I quickly realized that I had run into a corner. I meowed, crouched down and started shivering. I closed my eyes, trying to cover my face with my hands. Tears started rolling down the sides of my face, and my whole body felt numb. The loud, tramping steps came to a halt, and I could sense tremendous creature stand just a few feet away from me.

Run like there’s a 50% off sale, someone suddenly shouted. I slowly opened one of my eyes, peeking to see what was going on. Kirin had stopped moving, and seemed to be casting a powerful spell. My body wouldn’t move, still terrorized by what had just happened. Kirin’s spell was interrupted, as my party had run out of range long ago. The notorious monster roared in anger, making me crouch down even tighter.

I could hear steps of someone or something approaching me slowly. A hand, gently resting on my head. Are you okay? a friendly voice asked. I opened my eyes again, slowly. It was Nicia, smiling gently at me. Aww, what did that big mean creature do to you, she continued, looking through her pocket with her right hand. She pulled out a handkerchief, carefully wiping the tears off my face. It’s all right now, kitten. It’s gone now, she reassured. Even in my most desperate hour, a kind soul reached out a hand to help me.

Nicia helped me get back up on my feet, petting me on my head. I purrred faintly, mostly because I was nervous though. Meow! My tanks, I stuttered! I suddenly realized that I had left the tanks to fend for themselves while I had been feared for my life alone. I bowed courteously to Nicia, thanking her for looking after me.

After slaying the enormous monster, our linkshell sat down to rest. It hadn’t been a particularly hard battle, but it had certainly put a dent in my pride. Everyone was sitting in a big ring, having something to eat. I have an announcement to make, Ravenclaw suddenly said, standing up. Ravenclaw looked around, playing a few tones on his harp before continuing. Everyone was looking curiously at him, hoping he wouldn’t start asking popsicle jokes.

Ravenclaw cleared his throat, before cheerfully telling the linkshell that I have been promoted to pearlsack. Everyone shifted their attention to me, staring at me in disbelief. Oh god no, I could hear someone say jokingly. Everyone started clapping their hands, congratulating me. I blushed, and tried to hide my face. But deep down I felt really happy!

The Adamantoise

A distant roar thundered through the Terrigan headland. The animals around me got frightened and bewildered by the distant sound. I crouched down to pet a beach bunny that seemed terrified. There there, it’s nothing to worry about, I comforted it. But deep down I knew that the roar was something to be concerned about. I smiled warmly to the little rabbit, giving it a little carrot that I had in my bag. Oh well, guess I’ll just have to find something else to eat then, I told myself as I got back on my feet and made my way through the sandy terrain.

The sun was shining brightly in the sky, and small animals of all shapes and sizes were out in the open. The air was salty, and there was a gentle breeze blowing in from the vast ocean. The sand felt warm as I made my way toward the area where the sound originated from, and the scenery filled my heart with joy.

A new roar reverberated through Terrigan, this time much louder. I must be getting closer to source, I thought to myself, running as fast as I could. Help! My linkshell woke to life, as Greever cried out for help. Him and Yasko were battling an enormous tortoise, the Adamantoise, but were in bad shape. I’m almost there, I informed the linkshell, just hold on! A few others were also on the way, and I ran as fast as I could, entering a tunnel guarded by a group of manticores.

Our group made it just in time to save the two weary warriors. Sparroweye, wielding a mighty sword and a sturdy shield, provoked the giant turtle. The monsters attacks didn’t do much damage to Sparroweye, so our Thief, Stiffler, could concentrate on taking care of any undesired agro from nearby monsters.

The tortoise had a tough shell protecting it, and the damage dealers had to use all their might to put a dent in it’s massive carapace. The shell itself is as tough as adaman metal, and is much sought after by craftsmen all over the world. Monks are especially interested in it’s egg as it is used to prove their worth to receive their Black Belt.

An Excursion to Quicksand Caves

Small amounts of sand was falling from the top of the cavernous hallways of Quicksand Caves, home to the fearsome Anticans. I looked around, trying to find a place where I could stand without getting all drenched in dust. I shook my body to try to get some of the sand out of my fur, meowing in dismay. Aww, I never should’ve come here, I said frustrated. I had just cleaned my fur and all, and now it was was covered in dust and sand. I swear, I’m like a magnet to these things.

In the distance I could hear a rumble, and the ground started to shake. Be careful, I warned my party, it sounded like another tunnel just collapsed. I couldn’t pinpoint the exact location, but I was starting to get a little worried that the roof would fall down on us—literally.

Stop whining, Dutton said, nothing good will come from worrying. I looked at him and nodded, mentioning it no further. We started walking slowly down the tunnel, and Yasko walked over to a corner leading into a bigger hallway. She peaked around the corner, and counted nine anticans and two spiders. Okay, sneak up from this point on or the roof will be the least of our worries, she whispered to us. I quickly cast a spell on everyone to make our steps light as a feather so we wouldn’t attract any unwanted attention.

Yasko raised her hand and gave us a sign that it was clear. We quickly hasted across the hallway, trying to make as little noise as possible. The anticans don’t see very well, so we didn’t have to worry about being seen. Yasko gave the order to step on top of a weight controlled switch. The switch was of ancient galkan design, or at least that is what I was told. I suppose it was invented to lock out enemies, but a security feature based on weight alone is easily bypassed. It should come as no surprise that the beastmen were smart enough to operate such a device.

As we all stepped on the switch, it began to glow radiantly, and a faint hum could be heard in the background. A nearby gate started shaking before it started moving to the side, revealing an opening. We all snuck behind the gate and advanced further into the tunnel. A few anticans were looking through the remains of the ancient city, hoping to loot something nice. The anticans are like overgrown ants, and they are quite disgusting to look at.

We entered a new tunnel where a spider and a cactuar were roaming. This looks like a good place to fight, Dutton said, telling the damage dealers to take care of the monsters in the tunnel. I covered everyone in a magical protective shell and sat down to meditate for a moment to regain some of my mana. My moment of silence was interrupted by an over~impatient damage dealer though. Yhaaa~, he screamed as he charged toward Sabotender Bailarina and struck him with his sword.

Everyone picked up their swords and attacked the cactuar monster. Take that! Eat this, the damage dealer screamed while continuing to pound the monster carelessly. The monster bowed down in an attempt to defend itself, before it jumped up, shooting a thousand needles in every direction. You idiot, someone yelled. Do you see what you have done? The impatient damage dealer just looked at the rest of the group and shrugged, having no idea what he was being reprimanded for.

The poor little cactuar didn’t stand a chance. I healed everyone’s wounds and prepared to depart for Jeuno as I had limbus an hour later. Wait, Slugg said, can we kill the Proconsul XIII as well? he asked. I looked at the others and told them I didn’t mind staying to help him. Thank you so much, Slugg cheered.

We walked toward the entrance again, and found our new camp. Slugg explained how he wanted to obtain a Dainslaif, said to belong to a legendary hero of ancient times. Everyone prepared for a new round of fighting, and we took a moment to go over the strategy. Then, suddenly I realized someone was missing. I looked around but couldn’t see him, and I couldn’t hear him anywhere. But before I managed to tell the party, we suddenly heard a loud cry, take that, pesky numbered guy. I sighed, here we go again.

The Gnat From Hell™

Dust was flying in all direction as I landed in Meriphataud Mountains (S), teleporting from the Aht Urghan empire. Galadius coughed, while trying to brush off some of the fine powder that was now covering his clothes.

You know, you could give me a warning before you just teleport on top of me like that, he said a bit annoyed. How was I supposed to know you were standing there, my kitten, I asked him, grinning roguishly. Thank you for coming though, I really appreciate it, he told me before instructing me to rent a chocobo from one of the nearby chocobo renter. The lady had a variety of chocobos, but I quickly found the one for me. That will be 250 allied notes, ma’am. Be warned though that this chocobo has a bit of a temper, the lady told me. I paid the lady the notes that she asked and mounted my chocobo, riding south east.

Galadius led the way, while continuously inviting people from my linkshell to the party. The mountain range was filled with monsters of all shapes and sizes, but I wasn’t the least worried about the chocobo kicking me off it’s back. I have a way of keeping chocobos happy and calm, a trait I picked up from my father back in Lemith. Pet the chocobo and talking goes a long way of keeping them happy.

Our party quickly grew in number, and we ran into two adventurers already preparing to fight the same monster as we had planned to kill, so we ended up joining forces. I had partied plenty of times with one of the Black Mages in particular, Sealorik, back in Aydeewa Subterrane.

We all gathered at the south-eastern most edge of the map, near the entrance to the Karugo-Narugo fort entrance. Galadius looked through his bag, trying to find an item he had found in Castle Oztroja the day before, using some questionable means against the yagudos. Not that I really mind, those buggers really need to learn their place!

Ah, there we go Galadius mumbled, pulling a few gnat pellets out. Okay, now we wait everyone, he continued, explaining that we were about to lure a gnat out of it’s hiding with the pellets he had brought.

We sat down and played some cards, not entirely sure when the gnat Galadius was talking about would appear. About twenty minutes later we heard some buzzing in the distance. I can clearly hear a monster with insect wings approaching… I’d say we have about 45 seconds before it reaches us, I explained to the party. Being a mithra has a few traits, including superior hearing and sense of smell. We quickly got on our feet and hid behind a bush, a few feet away from where Galadius had left the pellets.

A fat gnat, covered in mud and what seemed like stained blood, landed near us, slowly walking toward our lure. Steady… steady… Galadius whispered. The gnat was now standing over the pellets, clearly enticed by the offering it had found. Attack, Galadius suddenly cried out, making everyone jump out our hiding, running charging at the gnat.

The gnat, or Bloodlapper as some call it, was really surprised, but couldn’t escape, so started attacking us instead. It unleashed some devastating detrimental effects, causing everyone to get plagued. I quickly cured everyone, trying to keep them healthy. Our Black Mages launched nuke after nuke, steadily bringing the gnat’s stamina down. The gnat defended itself very well, dishing out all sorts of obscene status effects, making me have to work that much harder. Now, I like challenges, but personally I thought the gnat went a little overboard with all it’s attacks.

Bloodlappers attacks quickly subsided as we managed to defeat it. Everyone cheered, happy that it was finally over. I guess I was the one smiling the most, as it was all over. The Gnat From Hell™ was finally dead.

Galadius walked over to the gnat, pushing it to the side with his foot, before he crouched down to his knees, examining the gnat. What are you doing, I asked him, clearly disturbed by the mere sight of the fallen gnat. It had the worst smell ever, and it looked really filthy. Well, what do you think I’m doing, Galadius said, as he reached his hand down the gnat’s throat. My jaw dropped, and I had to turn away. There! Found it, he cried out, pulling out a pair of Vicious Mufflers. We all congratulated him, but I must admit that the mere thought of wearing a piece of equipment found inside that gnatmade me a little sick in my stomach.

Having said that, though, the stats speaks for themselves. I guess I’ll have to look into getting a pair of my own, but I’ll be sure to wash them over and over and over and over!